Sunday, November 28, 2010


“Open your eyes to see your own spirit illuminated. Any way you externalize your inner vision can make your spirit visible to you. A story, a drawing, a joke, a garden, a love poem, a dance, a song, a building – all help you see that there are moments in your life that are sacred. The moment you see your spirit is the moment your heart opens. When you glimpse your spirit you gasp and cry, you feel emotion, you know who you are. That is the moment you begin to heal." Michael Samuels, M.D.

little grandmother ::: watch watch watch :::

Saturday, July 31, 2010


love is the most expanding experience the soul experiences during its time incarnated. 

why is it love makes everything all understood, all justified, brighter, present?
because- it is what we are. we are love incarnate, we were physically manifest out of the act of love making. love created; love is a creative force, creativity is the embodiment of love, creativity is brightness, understanding, being in the moment wholly and fully...


Wednesday, June 30, 2010


marianne williamson:

a few notes I took from her talk last night in Hollywood.. 

-- i am willing to see this differently
-- forgiveness: the fact that what you think is real... heal me in my belief of this illusion because ONLY LOVE IS REAL
-- in my defenselessness, my safety lies
-- open your hands, open your heart: defenselessness is peace and safety, the ego would tell us otherwise, but the ego  is illusion, the feeling of the heart is truth
-- the universe will balance itself, you don't need to worry about it!!
-- "you can be bitter, or you can be better"
-- ego is self-hatred, when feelings of sadness, guilt, immense pain boil up in the body, this is the EGO not the soul... those feelings are the souls reminder that what you are feeling is not of TRUTH...release, let go, release, let go, release...
--it is as real or as unreal as YOU make it
-- birth/death are a continuation
-- alien: you are not of here, each of us has felt like an alien upon this earth and this experience because essentially, we are!

-- : microcredit loans to eradicate poverty ... truly, all of the worlds ills can be eased and eventually healed with the eradication of global poverty: poverty and lack of basic survival necessities are what lay the foundation for radical idealism and violence. human beings need to have their basic needs met and feel a sense of self-worth and self-love...

Kahlil Gibran on Love

Kahlil Gibran on Love 

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden. 

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. 

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. 

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. 

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love. 

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. 

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Friday, June 25, 2010

watch: fawnhawk "hunters hide"

manifesto of the new lover

i remind myself, when i am centered with me, i can be centered with absolutely any and every person. 

i lay on the grass in the sun. 

i recognize, when my energy gets low, the first thing i like to do is focus on a love interest, a lust, i put pressure & wish energy from that person, yet i remember:

any & all energy is generated & comes from within me. ___ is a beautiful manifestation & reflection of my centeredness, my energy & my presence. we are mirrors to one another. he is his own being, & i am mine. i honor him in my presence, i honor myself. i draw energy from source which is all energy-- i surrender every moment, i let go every moment because in surrender- there is truth!!! 

in my silence there is truth, in my kindness & love & centeredness is all truth... in this moment, in my solitude, in sunshine, i am a pillar of my own energy & i remember, i am NEVER alone.

i am always in love & in the quietness of my mind, the centeredness of my heart lies all of eternity.

all i can be, is in this moment & all i can be is true to my feelings. to listen & to be kind. to fill from within, this is the kind of partner i wish to be. a partner who is whole, who attracts another who is whole so they may have an experience together, & an experience apart. but in their togetherness, there is beauty, there is kindness & love & enjoyment, there is sexual ecstasy, there is friendship & trust & union in enjoyment, in presence.  
and when apart, whole in their apartness, as Osho says, when you are alone, be alone, when you are with company, be with your company. 

all is a sharing, all is a reflection & to love requires a great and beautiful willingness to love yourself first and be present in each moment you are alive...we then approach our partners from a space of love & fulfillment, never of need. you never need the other to fill you, because in your love, presence and breath, you fill yourself...then you share.
 presence is all. breath is all. love is all...the new lover is fulfilled from within and then shares his fulfillment. all is beautiful.

--nb 6.20.10

Friday, June 11, 2010


the bottom can never come out from under you, because there was never any bottom to begin with.

p. jack coleman :*


"I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, 
concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree 
in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night. It said that 
Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry. It's all like a dream. 
Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds.
But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright 
forever and forever and forever. Close your eyes, let your hands 
and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence 
inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson 
you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds 
long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. 
It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do 
with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: 
Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. 
It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. 
I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, 
they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? 
Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence 
of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because 
it was never born." 
Selected Letters 1957-1969 and is a letter he wrote to his first wife, Edie in 1957." 
— Jack Kerouac (The Portable Jack Kerouac)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

edward ruscha //

this is a statement i wrote for a class where i was asked to choose a contemporary artist who i would most want to create an exhibition with, partnering his (in this case, edward ruscha) work with my own and exploring new meaning, juxtapositions, the formal element of their work and mine, etc. here, i utilized my jewelry creating with w/ ruscha's remarkable art work...grateful to create.

The artist I decided to coincide with for an Artist’s Project Exhibition is Los Angeles based painter, film maker and American artist Edward Ruscha. Ruscha’s work is prolific: intriguing, large in scale, captivating, clean, simple and his expression of the mundane, bizarre humor that is the life experience offers, comes through within his paintings and even more simply, in his typographic works. (pronounced “gnome”) is my handmade jewelry line of sculpturally, elegant statement making earring pieces. I too attempt to communicate the bizarre beauty that is life, but in a more abstracted way. I felt Ruscha and I’s collaboration would be the ability of his work to put actual words and larger visual expanse to my jewelry pieces.

            Ruscha works mostly in large scale, his works are painterly with an almost photographic as well as a mystical quality to them. The scale and color choices, often bright Pop-Art inspired hues partnered with demur achromatic neutrals (like Sister, Brother 1987 at the New York MOMA) are a trademark of Ruscha’s work, both his iconic shadowy images, as well as his typographic paintings. Formal qualities of include utilizing a large scale within our given medium (like Ruscha): the hoop earrings I create are generally 3.5 to 4 inches in diameter. They are statement pieces meant to adorn the body. I incorporate the natural with the un-natural (feathers with stainless steel hoops) or crystal work (like quartz with brass and base metal chain), much like Ruscha partners his colors: a balance of that which is opposite (bright, popping colors with achromatic neutrals) The balance of opposites with is also seen in Ruscha’s work: most of his paintings are that of imagery, yet he also creates remarkable typographic sayings on canvas. The imagery needs no words to describe, as the viewer will create his or her own meaning, and yet Ruscha often partners imagery with totally, (perhaps off-the-wall) words and sayings, allowing for an entirely new meaning to be created. I also enjoy this play in my jewelry making: often the piece itself creates meaning to the viewer, whether it be the scale, materials used like feather, wire wrapping, the mixing of metals, crystals, etc., I have experimented with incorporating message into the imagery I create with the actual piece. The message could be something obvious, like utilizing actual lettered beads and creating a saying like “Only Love Is Real” or “I’m A Lover” or simply using symbolic beads, like hamsas, oms or any small amulets denoting spirituality or to be utilized as reminders to the wearer (in Ruscha’s case, the viewer).

            Ruscha’s work and my work could work together to somehow reflect the meaning of all of life: the balance of opposites, the big and the small that is our experience, the simplicity and yet the remarkable fine tuned details… whenever you view a Ruscha, you have the capability of viewing the expansive piece from afar, getting the whole picture if you will, yet you also have the opportunity to step extremely close, and look at the incredibly fine detail of his brush work, the perfect precision.’s pieces are much the same: one may view the piece from afar, adorning the body, or hold it, interact, observe the fine wire work or the intricacies and uniqueness of each feather used. Collectively, the large scale of Ruscha’s work partnered with the small ritual adornments that is partner up to communicate this: life is the big and the small, the fine details and the bigger picture and there is a balance to be obtained by witnessing, embracing and allowing the flow of everything. 

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

song lyrics:

perhaps we're all just looking
perhaps we're all just searching
there is a voice, a voice, a voice,
a voice within each of us.

perhaps the voice is just the same,
the voice inside is just the same,
it's a primal scream, a scream,
the voice is a primal scream, a scream, a scream, a scream, a scream, a scream...

there is no judgment, 
there is no thought, 
relax through, and ask through, 
and pass through and laugh through,
until you're asked,
until you're asked, you're asked, you're asked
to stop.




i wrote this for a class.. perhaps you can draw some connection & wisdom from it:

i am natalia benson. i identify myself not just by the strength of that given name but the strength of my soul. i've been on this earth for 22 years [as i write, i am now 23] in this particular body. i am a tri-part being: body, mind and soul. my body has been here a short while, my minds been evolving a long time before that & my soul is incredibly old. i feel i've been doing this life dance a while, which i feel to be so blissful, interesting and utterly remarkable!

i am an aries. i have an ego that i'm working on. i love to explore myself & others via communication & esoteric modalities: astrology, oracle cards, energy healing & loving. I create with my hands. i love my hands. all in all i love myself immensely & i can best define my experience as an expression of trial & error (of which there never really is any error) & immense amounts of gratitude.

as i said, i am a tri-part being. in terms of my body: i was born to two astounding, loving & beautiful parents, Paula & Scott on April 17th, 1987 @ 1:09 in the morning, Phoenix, Arizona. my grandma lila had an incredibly prolific effect on my upbringing, as did my grandpa mitch: both of their influences so effective yet also subtly different. i have a beautiful brother named coleman, who i am only now beginning to become closer with, & that i am so grateful. my life is very much molded & defined by my relationships: i have attracted utterly astounding friends, acquaintances & romances which help me define & reshape myself each and every day i am alive & choose to be aware.

i feel myself to be a student of all of the universe: ever expanding, contracting & creating.
i am always seeking new information, especially that which i feel can heal myself, hence allowing me to heal others & share with them a greater understanding of their own experience as well as remind me a greater comprehension of my own...
i believe: in reincarnation, i believe in peace within, the law of spiritual attraction (no matter how frustrating it may be...only b/c it truly requires so much awareness and a true willingness in taking responsibility for your life experience) & i believe in love.
i believe in love so much that it essentially defines the totality of my entire human experience.
i truly feel everyday, in my awareness, i am healing & everyday, i am evolving.

i am a being of love, light, experience & foolishness. my greatest purpose is sharing all of the love within me & evolving/healing myself and those around me while within this incredible journey.

you, me & we // are the miracle

i am slightly unsure how to begin... because to describe beauty by means of the human vernacular sometimes allows things to go left unsaid: silence being, the greatest and most perfect way to express the inexpressible. beauty is often found in silence and to me, beauty is found, actually, is created, through connection, conversation and pure, flowing love between people. 

upon returning from an utterly transcendental weekend at lightning in a bottle i feel elated and healed. i healed myself and was healed through my connection, conversations and pure, flowing love with the people i attracted and interacted with. 

there is such beauty in this life, and there is such beauty in this world...if ever in doubt, just quiet your mind, silence the mind. this is  most easily done by breathing. the breath. people breathing, just simply listening to the inhalation and exhalation of their own life force is one of the most transformative powers in the entire universe. have you ever noticed that everything that lives, breaths? to breath, is to live, to listen, is to breath. silence of the mind can be found in the life force that is the breath.  

what i acknowledged and remembered over the last few days:
-- to look into another persons eyes is to peer into their soul
-- all are one, the greatest illusion in this causal-plane experience is that all is in separation (only the mind creates separateness)
-- only now is real; the present moment is all there is
-- our thoughts are the most powerful force in shaping the direction and flow of our experiences
-- only beauty can come out of total awareness (an idea from osho)
-- only love is real
-- loving the self is the greatest and most important thing..ever.
-- recognizing, that all beings are souls & energy just wanting to feel and experience love & flow, makes it difficult to not open yourself to total love, compassion and kindness.
-- all is well
-- be here now
--  breath deeply
-- letting go is a POWERFUL tool for manifesting all you could ever want or desire in your experience; as we let go of worry, thought, what we think we "need" we allow the flow of the inner mind to work its magic (that magic which the intellect knows nothing about!) and bring us forth everything we could ever want or desire...

we are the miracle that is the consciousness of all of the universe. that is so incredible...

we are in a time and space, a space and time, where our connection to one another, remarkable self-evolution, love & remembrance of our true beings is a force that is evolving and shaping all of humanity & divinity
as we remember our divine selves, 
we now step into our power as love and light. 

i am so grateful and i have faith that you are too. thank you.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


love is so unconventional; i am reminded this from a lengthy and beautiful conversation with a dear friend.

i am pulling so much from my book by osho (love, freedom, aloneness) right now, so much that it continually comes up in conversation.
i know we're coming into a time, where there is a big paradigm shift within the way we's a shift that will perhaps occur someday, even if it is only within a small group of conscious & aware's the idea:
love is all encompassing and unbinding & we all have the ability to love many, many people & within that expansive love, that over flowing love, our love doesn't diminish by loving many...we pull different and beautiful pieces from each person we couple with, from every & any lover that passes through us, we are teachers & students all at once with our lovers..

perhaps the day will manifest where we drop the fear factor that we constantly bring into our relationships, instead of fearing aloneness, we will embrace our eternity...and in that loving ourselves, we love all and we are more able to love one another. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


in bed. feels remarkable.
beautiful day, i am learning & experiencing so much..
money is a beautiful & funny thing & it's funny to see the way myself & others attempt to simplify their experience..
but, i admire and love myself so dearly, because sometimes despite another's energy i remind myself to guard my own, i also notice i'm becoming better at being a little quieter, & just allowing...being silent & listening, not trying to prove myself so much anymore...
i still do, i hear it, yet, it's just becoming more fluid, i am, & i am so grateful.
grateful for my awareness & the beautiful voice within me that reminds me, its all love, be loving, be kind, be compassionate to another's situation & ego, (and be compassionate to my own!) be a beacon of light, be yourself, love yourself & just's getting easier, it gets easier
reminding myself of these things..reminding myself patience...
to just allow, relinquish control. 
when i do, the univ delivers all that i've been wanting & then some...a great sum!
a cool passion, a passionate coolness as osho says.

i am grateful for the beauty in my life experience, for the kind beautiful & interesting souls i encounter. we are all just beings, souls seeking love & understanding...we all need a soft space to land. for those who are love & who are seeking depth of understanding & beauty, i hope to be a soft space to land..

accept yourself as a loving, kind, healer:
a healing being--
a loving being--
here to remind others of the loving healing within themselves

breath deeply and rest assured knowing all is in divine order
give up your need to prove yourself (be aware that you do this & choose anew)
--i am enough
--i do enough
--i am enough and worthwhile and love-able


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

some pieces of incredible inspiration today:

1. “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” 
-- the dalai lama

2. waiting for yoga to start, wrote a poem before class as i missed the one i was "supposed" to go to, in order to make the one i was meant to go to: (and hence had time for the poem) : 

everything as its meant to, 
for all ways and forever, 
this seems to make the greatest sense as I let go of my tremors,
see tremors are fears born of not, believing in our divine,
but often we forget the infinity we've spent in all knowingness sublime.

see everything flows as its meant to
 if only we can let go, relinquish control and role with the soul, is a most gorgeous way to grow.

3. received a beautiful note, from a stunning soul today, and in it she attached this quote in response to yesterdays "reminders" post: 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us. It is not in some of us, its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Marianne Williamson

4. I challenge you upon reading this, to attempt to view for one entire day, every single person you meet, encounter, speak with, etc. as a soul, a bundle of energy, all the same, with no differences from you what so ever. be gentle within this process, perhaps to begin try it for an hour, and then work up to a day; gently reminding yourself that each is a soul, and you are a soul, hence, all the same. judgment void. 

let me know how it goes. :) 

love love love. 

Monday, February 1, 2010


our thoughts are powerful, and if we are aware enough, we are granted reminders from higher energy, the universe, god, our higher selves, whatever you choose to name this dominion. I personally enjoy calling it the universe, or "univ" for short: 

(today): yes univ, you are constantly reminding me...anytime I doubt or fear or am unsure, via my incredible friends, small notes, chance interactions, I am reminded of the remarkable greatness that is me. 
how eternal, even within my "mistakes", my harsh self-judgments, whatever it may be that I allow my ego to infringe upon me, I am always somehow reminded that all of those thoughts are total illusion, unreal fears born of fatigue, and/or being totally unpresent...

my best friend, just told me, reminded me, of the beauty that is within me, those things he views in me that I often forget, or doubt...each of us holds beauty, greatness, the ability to be loving and embracing, the ability to be present and real. the day where we are all (every single being in an earth bound experience) aware of this truth will come to reality at some point in space and time. 

today I am reminded:
1. visualize greatness
2. hold a space of loving acceptance within mySELF
3. follow my joy and follow my bliss
4. believe, believe, believe in my own greatness

subscribe to these things if you wish, they are daily reminders that I hold very dear: 

love love love, in total gratitude. 

Sunday, January 31, 2010

warpaint, "elephants"

absolutely incredible:

beauty in the culmination of love manifest

life part deus

"and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -- anais nin 


books that have shaped my philosophies:

1. conversations with god (book 1 of 3), neale donald walsh
2. the celestine prophecy, james redfield
3. by the river piedra, i sat down and wept, paulo coehlo
4. believing in love, elizabeth hess stamper
5. many lives, many masters, dr. brian weiss
6. the power of now (excerpts from), eckart tolle


the pursuit of knowledge and the courage to move forward within my own thinking has resulted in a rich yet contemplative existence. my mom would always quote "the unexamined life is not worth living"...plato, from the apology, i do believe. :)

enjoy this stunning day-- smile at yourself in the mirror at least once, and then smile at someone you do not know!

Saturday, January 30, 2010


see the innocence in other peoples actions.

afriday afternoon unders t a n d i n g


there are those gorgeous moments of total clarity...of which I am so grateful. the answers arrive, from those situations that I allow to cause me so much pain, when I take things so personally, and can't. You can (take things personally...) if you want to cause yourself great pain, but the pain is illusion

TRUTH IS ONLY BREATH & BREATH IS PURE PRESENCE. bliss, joy and clarity are within the moment: available right NOW. (now, now, now...)

this week, I have been reminded & revealed so many incredible insights...into men, into these people & situations that once hurt me so, yet I let go, and I RELEASE & clarity & peace is bestowed.


be & breath.