remembering:

the bottom can never come out from under you, because there was never any bottom to begin with.

p. jack coleman :*

remembered:

"I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, 
concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree 
in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night. It said that 
Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry. It's all like a dream. 
Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds.
But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright 
forever and forever and forever. Close your eyes, let your hands 
and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence 
inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson 
you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds 
long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. 
It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do 
with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: 
Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. 
It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. 
I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, 
they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? 
Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence 
of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because 
it was never born." 
Selected Letters 1957-1969 and is a letter he wrote to his first wife, Edie in 1957." 
— Jack Kerouac (The Portable Jack Kerouac)

edward ruscha // n.om

this is a statement i wrote for a class where i was asked to choose a contemporary artist who i would most want to create an exhibition with, partnering his (in this case, edward ruscha) work with my own and exploring new meaning, juxtapositions, the formal element of their work and mine, etc. here, i utilized my jewelry creating with n.om w/ ruscha's remarkable art work...grateful to create.

The artist I decided to coincide with for an Artist’s Project Exhibition is Los Angeles based painter, film maker and American artist Edward Ruscha. Ruscha’s work is prolific: intriguing, large in scale, captivating, clean, simple and his expression of the mundane, bizarre humor that is the life experience offers, comes through within his paintings and even more simply, in his typographic works. n.om (pronounced “gnome”) is my handmade jewelry line of sculpturally, elegant statement making earring pieces. I too attempt to communicate the bizarre beauty that is life, but in a more abstracted way. I felt Ruscha and I’s collaboration would be the ability of his work to put actual words and larger visual expanse to my jewelry pieces.

            Ruscha works mostly in large scale, his works are painterly with an almost photographic as well as a mystical quality to them. The scale and color choices, often bright Pop-Art inspired hues partnered with demur achromatic neutrals (like Sister, Brother 1987 at the New York MOMA) are a trademark of Ruscha’s work, both his iconic shadowy images, as well as his typographic paintings. Formal qualities of n.om include utilizing a large scale within our given medium (like Ruscha): the hoop earrings I create are generally 3.5 to 4 inches in diameter. They are statement pieces meant to adorn the body. I incorporate the natural with the un-natural (feathers with stainless steel hoops) or crystal work (like quartz with brass and base metal chain), much like Ruscha partners his colors: a balance of that which is opposite (bright, popping colors with achromatic neutrals) The balance of opposites with n.om is also seen in Ruscha’s work: most of his paintings are that of imagery, yet he also creates remarkable typographic sayings on canvas. The imagery needs no words to describe, as the viewer will create his or her own meaning, and yet Ruscha often partners imagery with totally, (perhaps off-the-wall) words and sayings, allowing for an entirely new meaning to be created. I also enjoy this play in my jewelry making: often the piece itself creates meaning to the viewer, whether it be the scale, materials used like feather, wire wrapping, the mixing of metals, crystals, etc., I have experimented with incorporating message into the imagery I create with the actual piece. The message could be something obvious, like utilizing actual lettered beads and creating a saying like “Only Love Is Real” or “I’m A Lover” or simply using symbolic beads, like hamsas, oms or any small amulets denoting spirituality or to be utilized as reminders to the wearer (in Ruscha’s case, the viewer).

            Ruscha’s work and my work could work together to somehow reflect the meaning of all of life: the balance of opposites, the big and the small that is our experience, the simplicity and yet the remarkable fine tuned details… whenever you view a Ruscha, you have the capability of viewing the expansive piece from afar, getting the whole picture if you will, yet you also have the opportunity to step extremely close, and look at the incredibly fine detail of his brush work, the perfect precision. n.om’s pieces are much the same: one may view the piece from afar, adorning the body, or hold it, interact, observe the fine wire work or the intricacies and uniqueness of each feather used. Collectively, the large scale of Ruscha’s work partnered with the small ritual adornments that is n.om partner up to communicate this: life is the big and the small, the fine details and the bigger picture and there is a balance to be obtained by witnessing, embracing and allowing the flow of everything. 

song lyrics:

perhaps we're all just looking

perhaps we're all just searching

there is a voice, a voice, a voice,

a voice within each of us.

perhaps the voice is just the same,

the voice inside is just the same,

it's a primal scream, a scream,

the voice is a primal scream, a scream, a scream, a scream, a scream, a scream...

there is no judgment, 

there is no thought, 

relax through, and ask through, 

and pass through and laugh through,

until you're asked,

until you're asked, you're asked, you're asked

to stop.

((t.b.c))

in:

autobiographical

i wrote this for a class.. perhaps you can draw some connection & wisdom from it:

i am natalia benson. i identify myself not just by the strength of that given name but the strength of my soul. i've been on this earth for 22 years [as i write, i am now 23] in this particular body. i am a tri-part being: body, mind and soul. my body has been here a short while, my minds been evolving a long time before that & my soul is incredibly old. i feel i've been doing this life dance a while, which i feel to be so blissful, interesting and utterly remarkable!

i am an aries. i have an ego that i'm working on. i love to explore myself & others via communication & esoteric modalities: astrology, oracle cards, energy healing & loving. I create with my hands. i love my hands. all in all i love myself immensely & i can best define my experience as an expression of trial & error (of which there never really is any error) & immense amounts of gratitude.

as i said, i am a tri-part being. in terms of my body: i was born to two astounding, loving & beautiful parents, Paula & Scott on April 17th, 1987 @ 1:09 in the morning, Phoenix, Arizona. my grandma lila had an incredibly prolific effect on my upbringing, as did my grandpa mitch: both of their influences so effective yet also subtly different. i have a beautiful brother named coleman, who i am only now beginning to become closer with, & that i am so grateful. my life is very much molded & defined by my relationships: i have attracted utterly astounding friends, acquaintances & romances which help me define & reshape myself each and every day i am alive & choose to be aware.

i feel myself to be a student of all of the universe: ever expanding, contracting & creating.

i am always seeking new information, especially that which i feel can heal myself, hence allowing me to heal others & share with them a greater understanding of their own experience as well as remind me a greater comprehension of my own...

i believe: in reincarnation, i believe in peace within, the law of spiritual attraction (no matter how frustrating it may be...only b/c it truly requires so much awareness and a true willingness in taking responsibility for your life experience) & i believe in love.

i believe in love so much that it essentially defines the totality of my entire human experience.

i truly feel everyday, in my awareness, i am healing & everyday, i am evolving.

i am a being of love, light, experience & foolishness. my greatest purpose is sharing all of the love within me & evolving/healing myself and those around me while within this incredible journey.

you, me & we // are the miracle

i am slightly unsure how to begin... because to describe beauty by means of the human vernacular sometimes allows things to go left unsaid: silence being, the greatest and most perfect way to express the inexpressible. beauty is often found in silence and to me, beauty is found, actually, is created, through connection, conversation and pure, flowing love between people. 

upon returning from an utterly transcendental weekend at lightning in a bottle i feel elated and healed. i healed myself and was healed through my connection, conversations and pure, flowing love with the people i attracted and interacted with. 

there is such beauty in this life, and there is such beauty in this world...if ever in doubt, just quiet your mind, silence the mind. this is  most easily done by breathing. the breath. people breathing, just simply listening to the inhalation and exhalation of their own life force is one of the most transformative powers in the entire universe. have you ever noticed that everything that lives, breaths? to breath, is to live, to listen, is to breath. silence of the mind can be found in the life force that is the breath.  

what i acknowledged and remembered over the last few days:

-- to look into another persons eyes is to peer into their soul

-- all are one, the greatest illusion in this causal-plane experience is that all is in separation (only the mind creates separateness)

-- only now is real; the present moment is all there is

-- our thoughts are the most powerful force in shaping the direction and flow of our experiences

-- only beauty can come out of total awareness (an idea from osho)

-- only love is real

-- loving the self is the greatest and most important thing..ever.

-- recognizing, that all beings are souls & energy just wanting to feel and experience love & flow, makes it difficult to not open yourself to total love, compassion and kindness.

-- all is well

-- be here now

--  breath deeply

-- letting go is a POWERFUL tool for manifesting all you could ever want or desire in your experience; as we let go of worry, thought, what we think we "need" we allow the flow of the inner mind to work its magic (that magic which the intellect knows nothing about!) and bring us forth everything we could ever want or desire...

we are the miracle that is the consciousness of all of the universe. that is so incredible...

we are in a time and space, a space and time, where our connection to one another, remarkable self-evolution, love & remembrance of our true beings is a force that is evolving and shaping all of humanity & divinity

as we remember our divine selves, 

we now step into our power as love and light. 

i am so grateful and i have faith that you are too. thank you.